10 Things You Learn About Sex in Your Thirties

Posted: 16 Feb 2015 05:00 PM PST

At the age of 31, I found myself single after being in a long term relationship for close to 6 years. What I quickly discovered is that sex and dating in your 30’s is a completely different ballgame than when you’re in you’re a twenty something.

Everyone’s experiences are different, however here are a few things I’ve learned about sex since being in my 30’s.

1. Raging hormones meets (more or less) better judgement: On one hand, your hormones are raging and you want to have as much sex as possible. However, after a decade of bad decisions in your 20′s you're now way more selective about who you sleep with…well, sort of. Being in your 30’s means wanting to have sex with everyone and no one, all at the same time. It’s weird. And fun. But mostly weird.

2. Sex comes in many different varieties. Orgasms are a must. Oh, and sex toys rock – As a single thirty-something you’ll have good sex, "Okay-ish" sex and sex that is so bad it's comical. More often than not you'll have sex with yourself. You'll come to the conclusion that you can go without sex for a long time, however going without an orgasm is another story. This is where sex toys come in. Your collection of toys will grow exponentially to the point it actually intimidates some of the people you date.

3. Sadly, the Condom-Tug-A-War is alive and well – When you were in your twenties, it was never much of a struggle to get a guy to wear a condom (after all, who wants to disrupt college & your weekly appearance at 99 cent Margarita night with something pesky like an STI or a baby, right?!) however, this changes in your 30’s. You’ll meet a lot of guys who’ve either been married or in long term relationships who are completely anti-condom and insist you “just trust them.” Luckily you learned in your 20’s that anyone who uses the line "just trust me!" should absolutely not be trusted.

4. It’s perfectly OK to decline a booty-call if you’d rather stay in your pajamas and listen to Serial. You’re not desperate. Just sayin’

5. Communication is so, so, important. Also, it’s never good to “surprise” someone with anal sex. If you’d like to have anal sex, it’s totally NOT OK to spit on your date’s ass-crack while having sex with her doggy-style and just hope she takes the hint. It's likely she won't want to have any kind of sex with you after that move. To be safe, just don't spit on women… ever. Unless she asks you to do it. If she's in her 30′s, she likely knows what she wants in bed and whoa, hormones be crazy at this age. Just roll with it. Unless it's anal sex – you should always talk about that first.

6. Dick-bombs are a thing. Between the time that you were a twenty-something and a thirty-something, these little things called smartphones are invented and for some reason everyone decides to use them to start taking pictures of their genitals. You will receive a lot of random penis photos. So. Many. Penises.

7. You know what you want in bed. You also know that good chemistry and sexual chemistry is so, so, important. This becomes a “make or break” point when it comes to deciding whether you have a future with someone.

8. You learn to embrace casual sex but also recognize that your emotional needs have to be met - One of the biggest changes in your 30’s is that you’ll finally stop caring what other people think and own up to the fact that you love sex. However, you’ll also learn that along with passion and orgasms, you need to feel safe and protected. You want someone who will rip your clothes off, throw you down on the bed, say and do dirty things to you, but who will also hold you afterwards because they think you're lovely & special. (spoiler alert: you’re still looking for this person – and that’s OK)

What have you learned about sex in your thirties?

10 Things You Learn About Sex in Your Thirties is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog

The 5 Most Common Lies People Tell On the First Date

Posted: 15 Feb 2015 04:00 PM PST

When you’re on a first date with someone, it’s not always easy to tell if they are being 100% honest or not. You just met them and you’re hopeful that this might lead to something more, so you naturally don’t want to assume that everything coming out of their mouth is a big fat lie right from the start. However, it’s important to be aware of the most common lies that people tell while in the initial stages of dating so you can make sure you are looking for the warning signs.

In her latest video, Almie breaks down the 5 lies that people tell on a first date.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hi, I’m Almie Rose of Apocalypstick coming to you with We Love Dates, and this is Lies People Tell on a First Date. Now, there are five main lies I can think of that people tell on first dates. Here they are in no particular order.

Their Job
Their job, something somebody might lie about on a first date or exaggerate about could be their job. For example, I would say that I’m a writer instead of saying that I’m a blogger because writer sound just really neat and blogger sounds not as neat. Some people will flat out and lie about their job and say they have a job when they don’t even have a job. So there’s all different ways to lie, and lying about their occupation or about how much money they make is something that could be a problem in your date.

Their Hobbies and Interests
People tend to lie about their hobbies and, or interests. Example, someone might say that they’re really into sports when they’re not at all. Someone might say that they love Indie music when in fact they listen to Britney Spears. There are all kinds of little lies we tell and lying about these interests seems to be a big one. You want to connect with the person on your date and you might want them to think you’re cool. So you hold back what you really are into.

Their Goals and Aspirations
Another thing that people might lie about on first dates are their goals or aspirations. For example, if you ask someone on the first date, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” You might get a bit of a fudged answer, “In five years, I see myself drinking wine and watching Friends.” Not exactly something I’d share on a first date. I’d probably say something like, “Oh, I see my business really taking off and I see myself with kids.” Or whatever and I don’t even want kids. But something about being asked questions like those, makes you want to really reach for the stars and say what you think the other person wants to hear rather than what you actually want. So the lesson here is, don’t ask someone on a first date, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Because that’s a terrible question and if you do, you might get a lie.

Their Age
This lie might be the biggest one of all but personally, I think if you asked this question on a first date, you deserve to be lied to and that question is, “How old are you?” or “What’s your age?” Everyone is probably going to lie about their age on a first date and if they say that they don’t, they’re lying about lying. Because really, who wants to give their age on a first date or on any date really. I mean, that’s information that you don’t need to know until later and if you’re rude enough to ask, I think you’re rude enough to deserve to be lied to.

If They Want To See You Again
And finally, the biggest lie you can tell might be about whether you want to see that person again or not. For example, if you had a terrible time, but you say to them, “This was fun. We should do it again sometime.” That might be the biggest lie that you could tell them the whole date. If you really don’t want to see someone again, don’t tell them you’re going to see them again. Tell them that you’re sorry, but you just don’t feel a romantic connection. Don’t say let’s just be friends if you don’t want to be their friend because that’s another lie. So sometimes the biggest lie we can tell is about how we should end the date and proceed with our futures. I urge you to be honest. Don’t tell someone that you’ll see them again if you’re not going to see them again because that just hurts everybody and it’ll bite you. And there you go, Five Lies People Tell on First Dates. So do your best, go out there on your date and do not lie. Unless, you are asked about your age, in which case I say you can lie your face off, because that’s just rude to ask.

The 5 Most Common Lies People Tell On the First Date is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog