This Is What Happens When the Man You’re Dating is Obsessed with Football |  |
- This Is What Happens When the Man You’re Dating is Obsessed with Football
- 7 Dating Lessons I’m Thankful My Mother Taught Me
- Naughty or Nice-The Surprising Way To Keep a Man Interested
- Black Friday Deal: Get 40% Off 3 Months of Online Dating!
- 15 Mature Date Ideas in London
- 20 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Is Single During The Holidays
- One on One With Breakup Coach Laura Yates
- Is it Ever Possible to Stay Friends With an Ex?
- Mature Daters Won’t Get Intimate Until The Fifth Date!
- Your Holiday Family Time Survival Guide (No Matter What Your Relationship Status Is)
- Top 10 Christmas Rom-Com Movies
- The 25 Sexiest Neighborhoods in London
- 10 Reasons Why Winter in London Is the Most Romantic Time of the Year
- One on One With Simone Katerine of SkinnyDip.com
- 10 Traits of Healthy Couples
- Outdoor Date Ideas: Holiday Season Edition
- Exciting News! UK Blog Awards Nominations & Dating Advice.com’s Best British Dating Blogs
| This Is What Happens When the Man You’re Dating is Obsessed with Football Posted: 27 Nov 2014 04:00 AM PST  (This is from my backyard at a football party I held earlier this year) How much football is enough? The Wall Street Journal tried to answer this question in an article a week ago and it got me thinking – where do I fall on this? Let's see, I don't really watch too much college football other than seeing my alma mater Rutgers get their ass kicked in the Big 10. But that's where my exclusions stop. I'm in one fantasy football league, watch Monday night, Thursday night and then about 11 hours of games on Sundays. And this isn't including the pregame shows and features on NFL Network and ESPN throughout the week. Real talk, I'm a full blow National Football League junkie — I can't get enough of it. By the looks of that Wall Street Journal article, I'm not alone. If your man watches ridiculous amounts of football, it can be hard to deal with – especially if you're not a fan. Maybe you're married, been with him for years or you just started dating. Know this; his love of football will only grow. You can't stop it, only hope to contain it. Here are the different scenarios you could be faced with and few suggestions sprinkled in, on how to deal with a man who consumes copious amounts of football.What events are more important than football?None. Do you know how bad we want to slap your friend who decided to throw a Jack and Jill baby shower on a Sunday at 1? Then we end up feeling like the asshole for putting up a fight, because it's not our fault little Jill didn't have the foresight to check the home teams schedule first. You want a bunch of men checking their smart phones like psychos, trying to get access to any TV they can find? You know how many Patriots games I've missed since I started watching in 1993? That would be two. I only missed them to go into Boston to celebrate two different Red Sox championships. Short of my mother on her death bed, there is no reason to miss a game. And even then, my mother would probably look up at me and go "what are you doing here, aren't the Pats on?" Touche mother, touché. NFL Sunday Ticket.Personally I used to have dreams about the possibilities of having the Direct TV package. Any game you want, regardless of where you live = heaven. And then they came up with wireless boxes to top it. What's the big deal about wireless boxes? Take a seat, I’ll break this down for you. Every man dreams of having a man cave, a place where he can hang all of his old sports memorabilia, rip farts and drink beer. Essentially, he wants his own sports bar from inside his house. Obviously, this sports bar needs some TV's. Yes, that's televisions – plural. Wireless boxes enable you to hook up TV’s anywhere. Worried? You should be. If you only kinda like football, never let your man get NFL Sunday Ticket with wireless boxes. Your life will begin feeling as though you only exist on earth for Sundays and nothing else matters. Eat football, breath football, sleep dreaming about football.
Fantasy football.I'll freely admit to playing fantasy football and enjoying it. By no means do I let this shit be the highlight of my life like some men. There's nothing more annoying than listening to someone talk about their fantasy football team – especially when they're talking about a league you're not even in. Imagine what your girl friend feels like when you talk about how the Adrian Peterson suspension fucked up your whole season. No one cares. Girls, let your man do all the fantasy football he wants, but don't let him sit there all week and run his mouth about this crap. Yes, a married man with children will often treat fantasy football like it's the only hobby that brings him joy. This doesn't mean you need to constantly be subjected to it. Hosting parties.Planning parties around football games is a great excuse to get friends and family together. With most games starting in the middle of the day, it also allows for convenient timing. As your friends get older, it can be hard to find environments where both kids and adults can enjoy. So go ahead, use his football addiction as an excuse to invite all your friends over. Cook up a storm and drink ya face off. You're not going anywhere. How big can football parties get with wireless boxes and Sunday Ticket? Ask my backyard.
Pink hat row.At any football party, you've got the serious fans and the casual fans. In Boston, we have the casual fans who like to pretend their die-hards — this is what we call a pink hat. Set up a row in back (see wooden seats in above photo) or a designated area for the casual fans to talk about TMZ like topics, while the real fans sit up front to focus. You want to talk about nonsense and don't really care about the game? Fine with us, just go do it where we don't have to hear you. No offense, it's game day. Bye week.What the hell is a bye week? There are 17 weeks in the NFL regular season and each team plays 16 games. This means there will be a week where you man's favorite team doesn't play. Check that teams schedule early in the season and figure out what weekend that is. Treat this as your football vacation/weekend to make him your personal slave. If he's going to make you sit there and watch game after game, he can at least pamper to your needs during the bye week. Draft day.Stay clear of your man on his fantasy football draft day — there are fewer annual events he’ll get more excited for. For months and months he plots and plans which players he wants on his team. He'll sit there for hours on end watching the NFL combine, where college age kids run around in nut hugging tight spandex. Oh, you got chores for him to do around the house? Nope, nothing more important than fantasy draft preparation. He screws up this day and his whole season goes to shit. Expect him to waste more time than you can fathom in early spring and again in late August. Don't try to understand it, you can't.
If you have a boy, he will be dubbed the next "Gronk."Wait, you were hoping for a girl? Too bad. Daddy here thinks his little man is going to be a future hall of fame tight end, spiking footballs to the moon. He'll squeeze his chubby thighs, sizing up his hall of fame potential. Eventually, junior will sport a Patriots onesie, riding shot-gun next to daddy on the couch. He's slowly grooming another football addicted monster as his partner in crime. Soon you'll have two male sports addicts to deal with. Sweet. It's just a game.Oh, no it's not. A guy that's addicted to football will endure a serious emotional letdown when his team loses. Those emotions get magnified if it's the playoffs. Sure, it's hard to grasp getting so emotional for watching grown men run around and hit each other on grass. But, this game is a hobby most men get mentally lost in as a release from reality. It doesn't matter what's going on in your life, when your team plays it's fun to get lost in the moment. Is this healthy? Well, only when you win. To this day I still have nightmares about the moment when the Patriots took the lead in Super Bowl 42 – about to go a historical 19-0. Five minutes later the Giants matched that score and we were 18-1. The dream season was over. There were 12 people at our house, including the girl I was dating at the time. As the clock stuck zero, I didn't say one word to anyone, went up stairs and went to bed. "Anything I can do," my girlfriend asked. I just shook my head, said "unbelievable" several times and faced the wall to hide tears as I tried to sleep. Football isn't a game, it's a way of life. Feed me more!In denial he's addicted to football? Here are a few tell tale signs he's got it bad:
Can't beat ‘em join ‘em.Come on, it's not that bad! So what, you get dressed up in some NFL apparel (not a pink jersey, please) and root for a team. Try to learn about the game, pay attention to what's going on and ask him questions (during commercial breaks) if you don't understand something. What's the worst that could happen? The two of you bond over it and it gives you both something you can enjoy and plan events around together. Plus, you can always hold the guilt trip over him that you watch football with him, so he owes you big time — whatever you want really. Just not on Sundays of course. This Is What Happens When the Man You’re Dating is Obsessed with Football is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog         |
| 7 Dating Lessons I’m Thankful My Mother Taught Me Posted: 26 Nov 2014 03:00 AM PST
It's true that over the years, I've made my fair share of dating mistakes. But thanks to the advice of my mother, I've made far, far fewer than I would have otherwise. Everything I know I learned from her. Here are my mother's greatest hits. 1. Date a lot of men.Most moms of teenagers would prefer their daughters dated no young men at all. If they just had to, they could date one. One nice boy. That's all any mom wants. Not my mom. My mom was intent that I did not date my highschool sweetheart for approximately 2 years then get engaged before the age of 20. She knew that the best chance I had of being happy in a relationship was to get to know a lot of different men, and to find out what worked well with my strengths and weaknesses and what made me happiest and healthiest in a relationship. 2. He can't miss you if you're always around.When you're really into someone, it's easy to want to spend all your time with them. Part of you may wonder why you should leave his house when you don't want to. In fact, he may not even want you to leave. But occasionally, you need to leave anyway. Just like you don't appreciate someone until they are out of your life, you don't fully appreciate how great it is to have someone around until…well, they aren't around. Make a conscious effort to have some time apart each week instead of spending every waking moment with one another. This will allow your guy time to reflect on how great you are and how much he likes having you around. It's likely you'll do the same, and this will make the relationship better for both of you. 3. Don't call boys. Let boys call you.I remember the first time my mom told me that I shouldn't call boys. I was probably in junior high and wanted to call a boy from my class whom I had a crush on. I needed the details of a homework assignment, and while I could have asked anyone, I wanted to ask him. So I mentioned to my mom that I was going to call him, and was taken aback when she said that I should call a female classmate instead. It wasn't because she was my mom and she was being protective of me. It's because she knew that if this boy was interested in me, he would be calling me. And if he wasn't interested in me, I shouldn't be wasting my time with him anyway. That's right: my mother was a "he's just not that into you" pioneer. I went on to implement that advice into everything. Not only did I not call boys, but I didn't ask boys out, I didn't text them, I didn't make the first move. And do you know what happened? Guys called me. Guys asked me out. While some of my friends were making attempt after attempt with the object of their affection and wondering about "mixed signals," I was going on dates without hardly lifting a finger. To this day, I don't tend to make the first move. If a guy is thinking of me, he's sure to let me know. I haven't been at a loss for a date yet. 4. Getting over your fear of being alone is a key component of making good relationship decisions.We have all been there: you're dating a guy whom you had very high hopes for. This guy was going to be "it." He was going to end your 2-year single streak once and for all. And dammit, being single is hard. It feels so good to have someone there to help take care of you for once. To listen to you bitch about work at the end of the day, maybe even to cook a meal or two each week. But there's something deep inside that's constantly nudging, and you can't seem to shake it. The truth is that this relationship is not going to work out. It's not a good relationship, for whatever reason. You have to end it. And the only way you're going to be able to do that is by getting over your fear of being alone. Fear of being alone is the prime culprit in many bad relationships. Yes, being alone is sometimes difficult, and it may not be what you want right now. But it is always preferable to being in a bad relationship. Therefore, learning to be alone may be the single most important skill for young women to learn. Women who know how to be alone are happier when they are in a relationship. 5. If a man won't help you move, he's not worth your time.For my mom, moving is a great way to judge whether a guy is really committed to you. If you've ever moved in your life, you know why. It's an enormous amount of work. It seems to never end. In short, it's a huge pain in the ass. Every time I move, I swear I'll never do it again. That's why moving is the perfect way to know whether or not a guy is a keeper. He'll help you haul that overstuffed couch down 3 flights of stairs and barely complain? Hold on to that one, ladies. 6. The guy who makes you happy may not be the one you pictured in your mind.Being happy in a relationship or in marriage is not about finding the partner who fits the imaginary man that you had in mind for years. Neither is it about finding a partner who fits what someone else had in mind for you. This may seem somewhat obvious, but I see it all the time: women think that the only way they will be happy is by finding the picture they have in their mind. This could apply to appearance, but more often it's something else: a man who comes from a bourgeois background, has a good job that pays a high salary, or who has interests that align with what society deems normal. Even you might be surprised by the kind of guy that fits the best with you (which is why it's usually best to meet a lot of different men before settling down). In the end, you're the one who is going to be with this person til death do you part (hopefully). So when you date, don't try to complete the pretty picture you may have been imagining. Instead, look for the person who makes you happy, no matter how different he may be from who you expected. 7. Don't postpone your life until you meet "the one."In college, I noticed among many of my female friends a tendency to make plans for later in life. I wondered why they couldn't just do those things now: things like going traveling, moving to their dream city, or buying a home. I finally realized that what they were waiting for was the right guy to do those things with. Waiting for "the one" to turn up before living your life is like waiting to order dinner at a restaurant when you're waiting for that friend of yours who is always late. Not only are you going to be hungry and resentful if you wait for her, but she almost certainly won't mind if you ordered without her. The same is true of postponing your dreams until you meet someone. Go ahead, do everything you've always wanted to do. See the world. Move to your dream city and buy a home. Not only will it make you a more interesting and desirable partner when you do finally meet a great guy, but you won't have to live with the regret of never following your dreams. I see now that all of my mom's advice combined has been the main factor in my best dating decisions. Over the years, my female friends have been doubtful of some of these pieces of advice. While it may not always be conventional, it has always helped me to make better decisions and be in healthier, happier relationships (or many times, in no relationship at all). Thanks, mom, for your awesome advice! What dating advice are you thankful to have received from your mom? Happy Thanksgiving! 7 Dating Lessons I’m Thankful My Mother Taught Me is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Naughty or Nice-The Surprising Way To Keep a Man Interested Posted: 25 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST
Transforming yourself into an object of desire isn't about being a number one bitch with no consideration for anyone but herself, it's about welcoming somebody into your life whilst maintaining a sense of self and independence. And it's easier to do than you think. 'But I don't like playing games!' If I could count the amount of people I'd heard say that they don't like 'playing games' in a relationship I'd have my own private island in the Maldives by now. Games, it would seem, are something people (not least of all the slightly older amongst us, ahem) prefer to leave out of the dating game, choosing instead, to be more honest and up-front when it comes to communication and expressing what the want from a partner. While I am fully in favour of starting off a relationship with integrity and honest intentions, games, I'm afraid, are somewhat of a necessary evil when it comes to dating. That is not to say I would encourage people to spend their dating lives deceiving others, playing the field and treating other people like crap, but just that, to be too transparent (read:needy) early on in a relationship can leave you a little exposed. With this in mind, there are certain things I would encourage a woman to do if she wants a man eating out of the palm of her proverbial hand and my number one tip when it comes to keeping them coming back for more is … Treat em' mean to keep em' keen.Treating a man 'mean' does not mean telling all his mates down the pub what a tiny penis he has or making him clean your toilet with a toothbrush (unless that's his thing of course) what it does mean is maintaining a sense of independence and self-worth and making sure your partner sees this. Saying you don't like playing games is actually saying you are scared that if you are anything but totally available you may risk loosing the guy. Game playing, treating em' mean, maintaining your sense of independence, whatever you want to call it, isn't just an important part of the dating process – it is essential. It demonstrates to the other person that you are not prepared to change yourself for somebody, and that, although a relationship is important to you it is not the most important thing in your life, and what could be more attractive than that? 'But I don't want to be a Bitch!' Granted, it's not in every woman's nature to be a game player, somebody who misses calls to keep a guy interested or turns down the first offer of a date to keep him coming back for more. However, whether you're the fiery, independent type or more of a 'girlfriend' by nature, one thing you both have in common is a life. Treating a man 'mean' is really just a way of saying, stay true to yourself. By maintaining your own life and interests you will be playing the mean game without even realising it. What your boyfriend will think is 'Wow, this girl is hot, she's got so much going on in her life, I'd love to be a part of it' what he won't think is 'She's a bitch'. So worry less about being a bitch and more about booking that girls weekend in San Antonio – boyfriend not included. 'But I want to be the perfect girlfriend!' This might come as a shock, but there is no such thing as the perfect girlfriend. You aren't perfect, never have been and never will be so why kill yourself trying to be. Aside from that, my bet is that what you think your boyfriend thinks is the perfect girlfriend, is so far off from what he actually does it’s unreal. Bending over backwards for your partner will not guarantee love and commitment, and is not a safely net from being hurt. Far from it in fact – the more of yourself you give up in a relationship the less you have to fall back on when it ends. The biggest mistake a woman can make in a relationship is to disregard her own interests, hobbies, friends and life pursuits in order to be the 'perfect girlfriend' not only does it mean you've got nothing to fall back on it also suggests that your life wasn't that valuable in the first place! And what could be less appealing than that. Men are attractive to strength and confidence, a woman who knows who she is and doesn't apologies for it. This means not being at a person's beck and call, giving your partner space and having something to say for yourself other than 'What time will you be homes tonight? I thought I'd cook you something nice.' As lovely, I'm sure, as your lamb tagine is, when it comes to perfection there is no such thing. And it's possibly the most boring thing in the world anyway. Be fiery! Be difficult! Be a little bit untameable! Far more fun than a nodding dog in the car window. 'But I want to share *everything* with my boyfriend!' Being sexy, addictive and desirable has nothing to do with clean towels and obedience and everything to do with being spirited. And although I recognise that maintaining an air of mystery can be difficult the longer one is in a relationship, there is no disputing the fact that when it comes to keeping the fires of passion alive, to hold a little bit back will always work in your favour. Of course, I'm not suggesting you keep whopping great secrets from your partner and turn you phone off for a fortnight at a time, but just that, even once the dating stage is over and you are well and truly coupled up, to still maintain a degree of independence will serve you well in the long run. It is totally possible to be open and honest in a relationship with someone whilst still staying true to yourself. It isn't about never answering your phone or creating fake scenarios to cause anxiety and disharmony but it is about prioritising your needs along with your partners. If you are in doubt still about how to 'play the game' try this. Continue to live your life exactly as you did before you had the fun and exciting addition of a boyfriend. Don't drop friends, change plans or silence yourself because you're in a relationship – be true to yourself and the rest will follow. And if it doesn't? Even better, by being honest to yourself and indirectly saying 'Hey, this is me, like it or lump it' (although not quite in such basic terms) and you'll soon see if it's a relationship worth sticking with. My guess is, with confidence and self-worth you'll have him eating out of the palm of your hand and somebody who doesn't respect you being your own person isn't worth having around anyway – hey presto, everyone's a winner! Welcoming a person into your already full and exciting life without compromising it for the sake of being in a relationship with a person who expects you to change – that's how to treat em' mean – and is a damn site sexier than dropping all your friends to cook dinner for two every night – regardless of how good your tagine is. Naughty or Nice-The Surprising Way To Keep a Man Interested is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Black Friday Deal: Get 40% Off 3 Months of Online Dating! Posted: 25 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST Around the holidays, who couldn’t use a good deal? In honor of Thanksgiving and Black Friday in the US, we’ve got quite the deal for you–no matter where you live! Join WeLoveDates today and get 40% OFF any 3 month subscription, using code “SALE40″. We are all busy this time of year, but it’s important to put yourself, and your heart, first. Sign up and give yourself the gift of love this holiday season, at a steep discount of course! Who knows, you might find someone to ring in 2015 with. This exclusive Black Friday offer won’t last forever, so don’t wait! Happy Thanksgiving to our US members and readers! Black Friday Deal: Get 40% Off 3 Months of Online Dating! is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| 15 Mature Date Ideas in London Posted: 23 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST
Here are 15 of the best mature dating ideas to fire your imagination:1) Wine Tasting Evening at Berry Bros. & Rudd 2) People Watching, Shopping and Macaroons in Covent Garden 3) Bateaux London Dinner Cruise 4) Grand Tour of the Royal Albert Hall 5) Tea Dance at The Waldorf Hotel 6) Camden Market 7) A Luxury Cinema Experience at Everyman Cinema, Hampstead 8) Learn New Skills at a Specialist Cooking Class 9) Museum Hopping in Greenwich 10) Rock ‘n’ Roll Dinner at Sticky Fingers Restaurant 11) Spend an Evening at the Theatre 12) Sunday Date at Spitalfields Market and Columbia Road Flower Market 13) Afternoon Tea at The Ritz 14) Jazz at Ronnie Scott’s 15) Sunset stroll of South Bank then an evening at Tate Modern London is one of the most exciting cities in the world and as the late great Samuel Johnson famously noted, ‘when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.’ From live jazz to art galleries to coffee and macaroons – now you’ve got the ideas, it’s time to get out there and enjoy yourself. 15 Mature Date Ideas in London is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| 20 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Is Single During The Holidays Posted: 20 Nov 2014 08:43 PM PST The holiday season is upon us, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it, frankly. It seems like this year went by far too quickly for me to be thinking about turkey and Santa already. But it’s coming, whether we’re ready or not. This year, I am in a relationship, but I remember what it was like to be single during the holidays, and it’s a very special kind of hell. So I’m channeling my inner single girl and am here to help out all you singletons during the holiday season with some responses you can give insensitive people who are out to ruin your holiday cheer by pointing out that, yes, you are single during the holidays. Here are 20 things not to say to someone who is single during the holidays, along with some comebacks, given to you by my inner single lady, for all the single ladies (now put your hands up!).1. “What are you getting your boyfriend/girlfriend for Christmas?” Most of the time when someone asks this, they at least don’t realize that you’re single, so they’re not trying to be cruel. For this occasions, tell them that you’re getting them the gift of your future presence. It’s almost like a pun! 2. “Do you have anyone to kiss at midnight?” Why did this become a thing??? Why do we need someone to kiss at midnight? Yes, I have someone to kiss at midnight and it’s my cat, and I feel no personal shame or guilt about this. 3. “Who are you bringing to the office Christmas party?” How about me, myself, I? What, not good enough for you? Man, when I was single, I hated parties this time of year, as there was always the expectation that you simply had to bring a date. What’s wrong with going stag? Last I heard, Rudolph was single, and he saved Christmas! 4. “Do you really want a boyfriend/girlfriend for Christmas?” What a jerk question. Anyone who asks this is a jerk. It’s so condescending. There’s so many things I wanted when I was single beyond a boyfriend. Like a career. Some stability in my life. Something I worked hard for. 5. “Are you spending Thanksgiving with your bf/gf’s family or yours?” Again, people who ask this probably don’t realize that you are single, but if they do, they’re just mean. Tell them you’re spending Thanksgiving on the moon with Michael Caine. 6. “You’re so lucky you don’t have to deal with in-laws!” Look at you, slyly reminding me I’m not married. Thanks a pantsful. 7. “What do you do when you’re stuck under mistletoe?” What is with the holiday season and kissing? It’s like some bizarre obsession. I kiss my love life goodbye, thank you very much. It’s really none of your business who I kiss or do not kiss. 8. “I really admire how you’re not afraid to gain holiday weight!” Okay so technically this one could be said to anyone, regardless of their relationship status, but it totally shouldn’t ever be said — it’s an insult disguised as a compliment! It’s so rude to say during what should be an otherwise cheery holiday scene. It implies, “Hey, you can eat as much as you want! You don’t have anyone to look good for.” So rude. 9. “Think of all the money you’re saving not buying your boyfriend/girlfriend a gift.” Ouch, right? Kind of an ouch. I get that they’re trying to be helpful, but it’s such a strange way to be helpful. 10. “Is it lonely to have to go Xmas shopping by yourself?” Nope, it’s awesome, I shop pantsless at my computer. Oh and speaking of being lonely… 11. “How do you cope with loneliness this time of year?” With cats and candy, the same way any sane person copes with anything. 12. “Oh, sorry, I’d invite you but this party is more of a couples thing.” Got it, you want everyone evenly matched up and to share cups of cocoa with and I might infect the air with my singledom and make everyone sad. Thanks for the head’s up, and for caring enough about our friendship to warn me. 13. “I heard suicide rates really go up around the Holidays. Are you OK?” (With a laugh) “Oh I’m great, just GREAT. How are YOU?” Really put them on the spot. 14. “It could be worse. You could be going through a divorce during the holidays.” Er, yes, I guess that’s true…thanks? I mean, there’s nothing more cheery than mentioning divorce during the holidays, so thanks for that, one. Two, what a weird thing to say. And three, what am I even supposed to say to that? 15. “Christmas just seems much more meaningful when you have kids and a husband to share it with.” Ooooh, this one really grinds my gears. As if the only way you could ever appreciate something meaningful was if you had your own family. As if your supportive friends don’t count as your family. As if no one could ever experience joy without a spouse or child of their very own. No thank you, and as if. 16. “See Artie over there — yes, the guy in the orange sweatpants standing by the Egg Nog — he’s single too.” Poor Artie, there’s one at every holiday party, and poor you, for being the token single person daring enough to show up. Now everyone is going to try to match you with their Artie. 17. “Are you getting a boyfriend/girlfriend for Christmas?” said with a nudge and a wink. Are you getting a brand new non-patronizing tone for Christmas? said with a smirk and a middle finger. 18. (said by parents) “So when are you finally going to bring someone to Thanksgiving one of these years?” When I’m good and ready. Or I could run out screaming into the streets, “I NEED A DATE FOR THANKSGIVING SO MY PARENTS APPRECIATE ME” and see what happens. Would you prefer that? 19. This one was said to my dear friend Simone: “Are you thinking of getting a boyfriend?” Her response? “Yes, on Boxing Day! Maybe I can find him 50% off.” 20. “So, why are you single?” This one is just the worst, and it’s used year-round, but seems like it’s used more during the holidays, and I’m not sure why. People get can get especially brash during the holiday season. They’ll just say whatever pops into their head. Too much eggnog, perhaps? I don’t know. But I know that this is the number one thing single people do not want to hear. Don’t ask us why we’re single; it implies that there’s something wrong with us and it’s something that needs to be fixed, immediately, when that’s simply not true. A lot of single people are perfectly fine — even happy — just being single. We don’t need you to pry and we don’t need you to pity us. We just need you to chill the hell out. What awful things are you sick of hearing? What do you think we left out? Happy holidays! Image via WeHeartIt. 20 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Is Single During The Holidays is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| One on One With Breakup Coach Laura Yates Posted: 20 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST Laura Yates is a London based breakup, relationship and confidence coach, writer, speaker and mentor. Basically, she’s the girl you’ll want by your side if you’re going through a heartbreak. Laura’s work has been found on Thought Catalog, Female First and Digital Romance, among others and her past clients rave about her compassionate coaching services. Laura was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about all things dating, love and of course, heartbreak.
When it comes to women, I think we do have a tendency to over analyse everything! We question what it means that he said this (or didn’t say!) and what that text meant. Instead of just relaxing into it and enjoying it at the time, we get too caught up on what the ultimate outcome might be. As for men, well, sometimes they can be very indecisive when it comes to arranging the date or all the effort goes out the window after the first date. I know a lot of women who have had great first dates and then feel slightly disheartened when the next date suggestion is going round and watching TV on the sofa. And then the same again on the 3rd date! All that is lovely when you really get to know someone, but we do appreciate a bit more forward thinking in the first stages of dating. That doesn’t mean expensive either – it’s the thought that us women really love more than anything and what helps woo us. 2. Let’s talk first date fashion! What is the perfect outfit for a woman to wear on a date? And a man? Well, it depends on the venue. For women, I’d say wear something that that makes you feel confident but also something that you’re comfortable in and that reflects your sense of personal style. If you know you struggle to walk in those 5-inch heels, no matter how smoking they look on you, you’ll be spending more time fretting about falling over, or in pain! My go-to is smart jeans and a nice top for a pub or day date and a dress and heels if somewhere a bit more swanky. A subtle flash of skin doesn’t hurt either but keep it classy! For men, you can’t go wrong with classic smart/casual. It’s more important that you wear something that fits you well, suits you and that you feel confident in rather than worrying about trends or labels. I personally love a guy in nice jeans, a smart t-shirt or shirt and blazer. Oh, and good shoes! If you have a distinct personal style then go for that definitely, but just make it date appropriate so it shows you’ve made effort – that goes for women too of course. 3. What is your ideal dream date? Can be near or far, extravagant or a cozy evening at home. We might as well go big on this one! I’d love to be whisked off to New York. A bit of sightseeing, shopping, champagne, Broadway show – all in style of course! That’d do nicely! 4. What is the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard? Actually, the one that stands out the most wasn't the pick-up line itself but what came after it! The man in question asked for my number but then proceeded to rant at me that he was sick of taking girls numbers that never then responded to his texts or calls and that he bet I wasn’t actually going to go out with him if he did take my number! He ruined it before he even gave himself a chance! 5. Dating can really take a toll on your confidence! Do you have any tips for single women who are starting to feel like they may never find love? It’s so important to not get into that negative mindset (as it will show and you'll be in danger of coming across as a Debbie Downer or desperate) so make sure you don’t get obsessed or consumed solely with dating. Spend time filling your life with hobbies or activities that you love to do and things that enable you to grow as a person. Set yourself challenges and try new things. Push yourself out of your comfort zone – this is a brilliant way to build confidence. Spend time around people you feel great around. Widen your social circle. The more happy and energised you are in your life as a whole, this then creates an inner confidence that will radiate through when you are dating. Haha! Well, I went on one date where the guy spent the whole time either talking about himself or completely insulting or criticising me, my job and anything I mentioned to him really. It was awful. Needless to say, I cut the date short! 7. Who is your celebrity crush? Ooh, I have a few! If I were to narrow it down to just 3 they would have to be Jason Gordon-Levitt, Patrick J. Adams and Ian Somerhalder. 8. 5 items every woman should have in her handbag? Money, favourite lipstick, deodorant, mirror, phone. There are many others I can think of too, but I'd say they’re the main items! 9. Sex on the first date-yay or nay? Personally I always think it’s better to leave a first date with them wanting more. Don’t give away everything too soon as it creates a sense of mystique and intrigue. I do know a few people who have though and it’s evolved into a great relationship. I think it just depends on how you feel at the time and what you feel is right. Generally though, I would say bide your time because it's important to build up that emotional connection with someone first. But one thing I don’t advise is stating to your date that you’re not sleeping with them until…(insert time here). It will immediately make them feel uncomfortable and on-guard! 10. What should a woman do if the man she’s dating begins to “ghost” — stops calling, cancels plans, etc? Move on! We can make so many excuses as to why this happens. The cold, hard truth is if they’ve stopped calling, texting or keep cancelling, they’ve lost interest. The more time you spend over-analysing it the worse you’ll feel. So draw a line and move onto someone who is a better fit for you. For more from Laura, follow her on Twitter and Facebook. One on One With Breakup Coach Laura Yates is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Is it Ever Possible to Stay Friends With an Ex? Posted: 19 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST
If you are in a quandary about whether of not to cut contact forever, here a few pointers to help you determines whether you should cut your loses and delete your ex from your life forever or call time on the relationship but keep them around as a friend. You aren't going to be friends with your ex three days after breaking up with them.And if the sentence 'can we just be friends' appears before six months of breaking up, your answer should always be no. Because regardless of whether your relationship last two months or two years, there will be mixed feelings floating around which will inevitably interfere with your new found 'friendship'. It is also useful to remember that when a person has the 'can we be friends' conversation what they actually mean is I never want to see you again but I haven't got the balls to tell you straight. Either that or they are just not into you but wouldn't mind a shag now and again and don't want to burn their bridges. Being friends with an ex straight after a break up will only ever come to no good. With this in mind, time is the important thing to consider when you are toying with the idea of staying friends with an ex. According to some, a person needs twice the amount of time they have been in the relationships to recover and therefore be in a place where they can have a friendship with an ex-partner. I'm not sure that one can implement such a hard and fast rule on matters of the heart however I do agree that time is a great healer. And there is no doubt that as time passes, regardless of whether you were the dumper or the dumped, wounds do heal. If they don't, the only way to move on with your life is to cut all contact and leave your ex in the past. If those wounds do heal however, then friendship is possible. So to imagine we are in a situation where a significant amount of time has passed, ask yourself the following. Are you really over your ex?Or to put another way, are you staying friends with your ex because you genuinely value them as a person and they enrich your life in ways non-ex friends can or do you think that, by keeping the channels of contact open, they may have a sudden moment of realisation and come running back into your arms, full or remorse and regret? Because If this is your cunning plan, let me save you the trouble of executing it. Your ex isn't going to change their mind and you are putting yourself in the firing line for delayed heartache and potential humiliation. Breaking up is never easy for either parities. However, unless the intentions of friendship are truly genuine, delaying the inevitable hurt, under the guise of friendship is always going to end in tears. With this in mind … A good test to see if you can stay friends with your ex is imagining them with somebody else without wanting to neck a bottle of vodka and spend 8 hours crying into your pillow. Ouch, it hurts doesn't it. And if you are the one to have been dumped I would say that nine times out of ten the answer is no. No, you would rather swim the english channel naked in December than even consider them in the arms of another. Sadly, unless you met your ex-partner in a nursing home, the likelihood of them meeting someone else after you is pretty high. Meaning that, if you are determined you stay friends you must be fully prepared for them to introduce you to their new partner and to be fully gracious about the fact they are in the throws of love and can talk of nothing else, to boot. Real friends talk about new relationships, real friends expect you to be happy for them, real friends do not edit out parts of their lives for fear of upsetting each other. In other words, if you are not prepared for your ex to be totally open with you about all aspects of their life then you are never going to be friends, it really is that simple. Still think you can be friends with your ex? (and yes I am making this hard for a reason) … Consider whether you really need them in your life, or if you're just filling a space until something else comes along.Yes, of course it's hard to let go of a person you have shared a huge amount of time with, but consider whether you really need them around. If they've dumped you, the chances are they're saying yes to your offer of friendship because they either pity you or they don't want to hurt you all over again. Do you need that in your life? Is that really somebody you'd consider a friend? And if you dumped them think about the boot being on the other foot. Is it fair to delay their grieving process by staying in contact? Are you staying friends with them for the same reasons, because you quite like the idea of having a fallback, or it strokes your ego to know you've still got an ex hanging around? Be wary about either offering or accepting friendship from an ex – and don't let yourself be the bridge he hasn't burnt because he's never had to. You're not that desperate for friends. No contact means NO contact.The advantage of modern technology is that there are increasing amount of ways to stay in touch with people. However, when it comes to break-ups, this can be a disadvantage too and cutting someone out of your life doesn't just mean cutting out of the evening conversation you are used to having with them on the phone. As hard as it is, if you really want to move on then it's important to cut all ties with them. Delete them from Facebook, from Twitter, Instagram and any other social media channels you may share. Not only will this remove all temptation to self harm by spending your evenings checking up on their exciting new life without you, but it will also mean that they aren't able to 'virtually' keep you in their life either. You are either totally fine and having a ball or crying non-stop and drinking 3 bottles of Sauvignon Blanc before midday – whichever it is to be it is no longer their business. The removal of all contact is harsh but it is also the quickest and most effective way to get over a relationship. You haven't spoken for a year and are both in new relationships – hello friendship!So here's the good news. After a significant amount of time, when you both really have moved on (be it in new relationships or not) it is possible to re-kindle a friendship with an ex. People break-up for different reasons, and it isn't always because they can't stand the sight of each other. If outside factors contributed to your break-up but essentially you were friends and enjoyed each others company during the relationship then there is no reason why you can't be friends. Some of my closest friends are ex-boyfriends – why does it work? Because we gave each other time to heal and returned, after time, to a friendship that is now solid and genuine. Staying friends with an ex is a tough call – but with the right amount of time, the right intentions and a healthy respect for each others 'new' life it can work. And there's nothing like an ex in your life to be brutally honest about your faults – but that's for another blog post. Is it Ever Possible to Stay Friends With an Ex? is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Mature Daters Won’t Get Intimate Until The Fifth Date! Posted: 18 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST Mature daters have different needs, desires and experiences than their younger counterparts. We Love Dates Mature recently surveyed thousands of their members who are over 50, revealing key trends among mature singles worldwide. The resulting infographic below reveals the truth about mature dating, from what qualities and characteristics over 50’s singles look for in a potential date, to whom should pay on a first date and yep, how many dates before intimacy can occur. Some of the top facts from the IG:
Check it out for more mature dating facts, it may surprise you! Mature Daters Won’t Get Intimate Until The Fifth Date! is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Your Holiday Family Time Survival Guide (No Matter What Your Relationship Status Is) Posted: 18 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST Ah, the holiday season. The lights, the gifts, the Christmas shopping, and… the family time. While that Hallmark original movie might make it seem like spending time with family is always a magical, joyous occasion, those producers have obviously never been to your house for the holidays. Yelling about family conflicts, political beliefs, and religious affiliations abound until December 26 when, finally, the hurricane of family leaves your home a disaster zone, not to be contended with again… until next year. It seems that one of the biggest points of conflict during the holiday season has to do with relationship status. Singles often get the brunt of the attention, but if you're in a relationship, your family might wonder why you're not married. If you're married, you might get inquiries as to why you don't yet have kids. And perhaps worst of all, your family might have vocal opinions regarding your sexual orientation. In this guide, we'll lay out some options for coping with family members who have problems with your relationships, so that hopefully you can enjoy your holiday season conflict-free. Understanding WhyNo matter what your status is, there are a few simple things that will help you understand why some family members act this way around the holidays: 1. Any family member or person who is giving you grief for your status is going to be unhappy no matter what. This is why lying is not usually the answer. You can say that you do have a boyfriend or girlfriend (even when you don't), but they'll soon be asking why you aren't getting married. So don't play that game. 2. Everyone has some insecurity in their life that they feel that they need to justify to others. Granted, that insecurity may not be trotted out in front of the whole family, but it's still there. For some family members, it is unfortunately more convenient for them to draw attention to you rather than face an interrogation themselves. 3. You will never "argue" someone to your side. It is pointless trying to justify your decisions to someone, particularly someone who does not know you well, as is often the case during the holidays. It is a waste of your energy and often only ends in hurt feelings and awkward confrontation on both sides. The Dreaded Single StatusOf all the statuses to have during the Christmas season, one of the worst is being single. I think this is the case for a combination of reasons that cause the perfect storm at Christmas time: 1. It is normal for people to believe that you should be living the way that they have chosen to live. Perhaps they are happier when they are in a relationship. Does that mean you are happier when you are in a relationship? Certainly not. 2. Implicit in the message of the holidays is that everyone should be with someone. It's just that time of year in which people believe that everyone should have someone. Wait 6 months, and everyone will be talking about being single, free, independent, and having flings all summer. But in November and December, it's as if you are not a complete person without a significant other. 3. Social convention. "Alternative lifestyles" of all kinds, including those people who choose to never marry, are becoming more popular, but many people still don't understand how different lifestyle choices may be best for different people. 4. Remember that everyone has an agenda. It's a generous and likely true assumption to believe that your family wants what's best for you: they want you to be happy. So try to keep in mind through the holidays that your family wants what's best for you, and that is why they are putting you through this torture. Tips to Make it ThroughYou're not the one with the problem– they are. But that doesn't change the fact that you have to get through these several miserable days with family members. So what do you do when your family brings up something about your relationship status? Take a time outGo take a walk, go make a coffee run, say that you forgot something at the grocery store, Whatever you have to do to take a break from a high-stress situation. If you're lucky, your family member(s) will get the hint and drop the topic or change the subject. If you're feeling a little sassy or you're desperate, do this every time the subject is brought up. Eventually, they will understand that if they want to talk to you, they're going to have to talk about something else. How to Deal With Offhand CommentsSome solutions to snide comments. Sometimes, it isn't confrontational conversations that you need to avoid. Often, it's offhand, snide, and non-confrontational comments that are the most irritating or hurtful. Here are some ideas for brushing them off: 1. Abruptly and obviously change the subject. Don't worry about making the conversation "flow." Your goal is to let this person know that that subject is off limits and their remark was not acceptable. 2. Turn the question around to them. If you have the guts, turn around whatever comment they used on you and pose it to them instead. If they asked when you're getting married, why not ask them a personal question about their life? Sure it's a little, "I am rubber, you are glue," but hey, they started it. 3. Bring up your reason, but don't start a fight. As I already mentioned, you aren't going to change any minds, bring any epiphanies, or otherwise enlighten your narrow-minded family member. But if you have a good reason for a decision in your life that you don't mind sharing, give it to them. Perhaps that little insight will spark something in them over the next few months to make Christmas slightly more bearable next year. Probably not. Just make sure that your comment is a conversation stopper, not a conversation starter. 4. Make a joke. So your great aunt wants to flat-out ask you why your boyfriend didn't come to Thanksgiving dinner at your family's house? She doesn't need to know that you don't have the money, or that you're in the middle of a huge arguement, or even that you broke up. Instead, simply say, "Well it's a little hard for him to be here seeing as he's in prison." Serious Family Conflicts?For a majority of people, dealing with your family during the holidays is only a minor annoyance. But for some, it's a cause for serious anxiety and even emotional pain. Dan Savage regularly offers tips to gay and straight people alike who have trouble with their families around the holidays. He often says to LGBTQ individuals that they should not tolerate emotional abuse from family members. There is no law that says that you have to go home for Christmas, and if it pains you to do so, then you may have no choice but to let your family know that you are unable to attend. Some family members will attempt to manipulate you by telling you that you have deprived them of something with your choices. The key here is not falling for the script that says that anything is your fault, particularly your sexual orientation, but this applies to your relationship status as well. You are free to do whatever you'd like with your life. Just because your family does not believe that your decision was valid doesn't mean that it isn't. In fact, what they think is irrelevant. You don't need the approval of your family members. You are the one who must live with your decisions, not your family, so you and you alone get to choose how you live your life. Period. So here's what you do when you are having serious family conflicts during the holidays: tell your family that you cannot and will not tolerate being treated this way, if they choose to continue, you have no choice but to no longer attend family gatherings. And then, you must follow through. I'm sure it's not easy to bow out on family gatherings, particularly when it's only a minority of your family members who are causing problems. But just remember that those few family members are making your holiday unbearable, no matter what other lovely people will be there. Hopefully, this is only temporary and those family members will realize that their behavior is unacceptable. It's also possible that other family members will ask those antagonistic family members not to attend in the future if they're going to behave in a way that causes you pain. In dire situations, it's a chance you are going to have to take. Tidings of JoyThe holidays are a time to take a break from the busyness of your life to appreciate the relationships you have with family and friends. If you simply cannot think of the holidays without having a mild anxiety attack, it may be time to take action and consider some alternatives to family gatherings. But we hope that these tips allow you to enjoy yourself at the dinner table no matter what your family throws your way. What tips do you use to cope with family during the holidays? Your Holiday Family Time Survival Guide (No Matter What Your Relationship Status Is) is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Top 10 Christmas Rom-Com Movies Posted: 18 Nov 2014 12:03 PM PST There's no better excuse than winter time to stay out of the cold and cuddle up on the sofa with a festively themed romantic comedy. Whether you're having a cosy night in with the one you love or you want to warm up your heart with some extreme slushiness, Christmas movies are the perfect answer. Here are some of our favourites. 1. Love Actually (2003) Although it's only 10 years old, Love Actually has been an instant holiday classic from the very day it was released. Featuring the intertwining lives of a series of couples in London, the film follows their ups and downs, their budding romances and their broken hearts in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Starring an impressive collection of British stars (among others of course) such as Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson and Keira Knightley, this is one Christmas classic that strikes the perfect balance between comedy and heart-warming sentimentality. 2. It's a Wonderful Life (1946) Do you ever wonder what the lives of those you love would be like if you never existed? After being driven to the point of contemplating suicide, businessman George Bailey (James Stewart) meets an angel who shows him exactly what would have happened if he'd never existed. Eventually, George realises that he has touched lives after all and that despite the things going wrong, he really does have a wonderful life. It's a certified Christmas classic. 3. The Holiday (2006) A film that pretty much centres on just four characters, The Holiday really gets deep into the heightened emotions of the festive season. Two strangers that swap houses following heartbreak and a mutual need to escape their lives both get much more than they bargain for when they stumble into each other's lives, finding love in the process. Starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black, it's set in a festively snowy London and an equally festively (albeit in a different way!) California. 4. While You Were Sleeping (1995) Probably one of the more unconventional roads to romance, Lucy (Sandra Bullock) falls in love with a passing stranger Peter (Peter Gallagher) moments before he's hit by a car and falls into a coma – on Christmas Day no less! Following a mix up, Peter's family believe that she is in fact his fiancée and so the love saga unfolds, with Lucy spending Christmas with Peter's family and eventually falling in love with his brother instead. It's one of the less slushy and more unusual Christmas rom-coms (probably because one of the main characters is in a coma for the majority of the movie) but it's a sure-fire '90s classic that will warm your heart. 5. Bridget Jones' Diary (2001) One for the Christmas singletons, Bridget Jones' Diary is a chick flick classic that never fails to please. The 30-something single Bridget (Renée Zellweger) is on a perilous journey to another lonely Christmas and we follow her trials and tribulations in the world of love along the way. Quite simply, Bridget is a woman that most of us can identify with in some way or another and one that we'd all invite round for Christmas dinner. 6. Four Christmases 2008 Nothing like bringing your boyfriend home for the holidays and having to suffer through four events with your family. Brad and Kate, played by Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, tackle visiting all four of their divorced parents as a couple this season. Full of drama (hello, family time) Four Christmases doesn’t always seem like a warm and fuzzy holiday movie, but as always, the ending is spot-on. 7. You’ve Got Mail 1998 You’ve Got Mail isn’t technically a “holiday movie” (who makes the rules here?) but with so many scenes set around Christmas time in New York, it’s definitely at the top of the list of movies to watch this year. Plus, it’s Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, romantic comedy’s forever reigning King and Queen. 8. The Family Stone 2005 This flick about bringing your girlfriend home for Christmas isn’t always fun to watch. You will laugh, you will cry, you will totally understand how nerve-wracking it is to meet your significant other’s family all at once. How would it feel if they hated you? Well, Sarah Jessica Parker’s character, Meredith, finds out the hard way. At the end though, family and love rein supreme…it is a holiday movie, afterall. 9. Serendipity (2001) John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale meet one night in New York City when they are in their 20’s and get separated. 10 years later, they find each other again but life has gotten a bit more complicated by then. Is it destiny? Some might even say, serendipity? This is a flick that will make you believe in love at first site, soulmates and of course, fate…perfect for the holidays! Lucy, played by Sandra Bullock, saves her crush’s life in this romcom classic, and sets off a string of crazy events. pSandra Bullock is a romantic comedy staple, and While You Were Sleeping is one of her best. It has everything–quirky characters, a close yet dysfunctional family, and many deeply sweet moments. You’re rooting for her the entire time, and..spoiler alert…she does get the guy in the end. But which one? You’ll have to watch. What is your favorite holiday romantic comedy? Top 10 Christmas Rom-Com Movies is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| The 25 Sexiest Neighborhoods in London Posted: 17 Nov 2014 11:00 AM PST Our members are spread out over London and beyond. We wanted to dig a bit deeper and see if there were any trends when it came to what neighborhood in the city they frequent and what type of relationship they are looking for.
Using data from our 100,000 London based online dating members, we have determined the 25 Sexiest Neighborhoods in the city! According to our member data, these 25 areas have the highest rate of singles looking for a hook-up versus a serious, committed relationship. Some areas are hot with bankers, lawyers and politicians (no surprise there!) while others are seemingly quiet and surburban. We’ve plotted each neighborhood on a tube map, so now you’ll know exactly where to go when you’re in the mood. These are the top 10 sexiest neighborhoods in London, and for the full 25, see our infographic below.
Did your neighborhood make the list? The 25 Sexiest Neighborhoods in London is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| 10 Reasons Why Winter in London Is the Most Romantic Time of the Year Posted: 16 Nov 2014 08:00 PM PST
Here are 10 reasons to remind you why winter in London is the most romantic time of the year:1) You can admire nature at night by visiting Kew Gardens 2) The London Christmas markets are a must-see attraction 3) Winter time is the perfect opportunity to take a night walk and see the Christmas lights 4) Cold weather means more snuggly date nights in 5) Go to Carnaby Street for shopping and hot chocolate 6) There are lots of great Christmas shows and carol concerts to see 7) Go to a historic English pub with an open fire 8) It’s the perfect season for ice skating (and it doesn’t matter if you’re terrible at it) 9) Borough Market tastes even better in winter 10) There’s a Christmas night maze at Hampton Court Palace So if you thought summer time in London was the best time of the year for love to blossom, think again. Whether you’re skating in front of Royal palaces, exploring botanic gardens illuminated by fairylights or cosying up by a pub fire, you’ll soon fall in love with winter in London. 10 Reasons Why Winter in London Is the Most Romantic Time of the Year is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| One on One With Simone Katerine of SkinnyDip.com Posted: 14 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST If you’ve been reading the blog for any period of time, chances are you’re familiar with one of our very favorite writers, Simone Katerine of the incredibly popular blog Skinny Dip. She was recently chosen as “Vancouver’s Most Eligible Bachelorette” and has written tons of articles for us over the years. We are so happy to have the chance to interview Simone on all things love and dating. See her answers to our questions below! There’s a quote by Maya Angelou that says, “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." I feel like both men and women waste so much time going after people who are clearly sending signals that they don’t really want to be with them. We get so caught up in the idea of the potential of a situation that we ignore what’s happening in front of us. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no such thing as “mixed signals.” Whether it’s the guy who only returns your texts some of the time, or the girl who is always bailing on plans, actions always speak louder than words. It’s our responsibility to pay attention & listen. 2. Let’s talk first date fashion! What is the perfect outfit for a woman to wear on a date? And a man? Your first date attire should make you feel confident and sexy, while still comfortable and not overdone. Usually I like to wear a flattering dress with either a pair of heels or ankle boots (depending on the season) + my favourite black leather jacket. I’m also a fan of subtle but statement making jewelry, so I rarely leave the house for a date without my Marc Jacobs bangle and/or one or two of my favourite necklaces or rings (they make great conversation pieces!) Also, red or berry toned lips are a must. For guys, I’m a fan of keeping things simple. You can never go wrong with a nice pair of jeans & a button down. 3. What is your ideal dream date? Can be near or far, extravagant or a cozy evening at home. To be honest, I’m not picky about location – it’s more about who I’m with. So, basically anything that involves lots of witty banter, chemistry & good wine. 4. What is the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard? Ah! There are so many. Years ago, a guy asked me “Do you like Polish sausage?” when he found out I have Eastern European heritage. #FAIL. 5. Dating can really take a toll on your confidence! Do you have any tips for single women who are starting to feel like they may never find love? My Mom has this saying: “Build a happy life for yourself and eventually you’ll attract someone who has done the same & you can share a happy life together.” If you’re feeling burnt out by dating, this is the perfect time to fall back in love with your life & do things that make you feel good. Take that yoga class you’ve been dying to check out, learn Spanish like you’ve always wanted to, take that trip to an exotic location, spend time with people that you love – do whatever you need to do to make you feel happy and fulfilled on your own. Like attracts like. Love has a funny way of popping into your life when you’re busy being awesome. 6. Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on! Don’t worry, you don’t have to name names! Years ago, I went on a “dinner date” with this guy who worked in the same building as me. However, when it was his turn to order, he just asked for a water, adding “I’m kind of broke right now, so I ate before I came.” After, we went to a movie and insisted we share a drink – despite barely knowing each other. Needless to say, there wasn’t a second date. 7. Who is your celebrity crush? Daniel Craig and Idris Elba. Two very different but sexy men! 8. 5 items every woman should have in her handbag? My first date essentials: 1. Phone (with the # of a good friend to call if things go awry!) 9. Sex on the first date-yay or nay? I think it totally depends on the people involved and how comfortable they are with each other. It’s 2014, and if you both want to have sex – go for it. 10. What should a woman do if the man she’s dating begins to “ghost” — stops calling, cancels plans, etc? Keep her options open! If you’re not in a committed relationship, this is the perfect time to say yes to other dates and see what else is out there. For more from Simone, follow her on Twitter and Facebook. One on One With Simone Katerine of SkinnyDip.com is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Posted: 13 Nov 2014 08:45 PM PST Do you consider yourself to be a part of a “healthy couple”? If not, would you like to be? Hey, as fun as dysfunction can be (don’t forget, there is a “fun” in dysfunction), it’s also important to have stability, and part of having stability is being in a healthy relationship, and thus, being part of a healthy couple. It sounds easy, and it can be, but it can also be hard. Here are 10 traits of healthy couples, to help you out. How close are you?1. An appreciation for feminism. Seriously, according to Women’s Health, having a partner who labels himself as a feminist is a huge asset.They quote Laurie Rudman, who has studied the subject and has a Ph.D., saying, “A male feminist partner may increase a woman’s ability to realize her own goals and career ambitions … And male feminists are probably not threatened by their partner’s strivings.” And that’s a good thing indeed. When your dude is on your side, you’re bound to accomplish more than if he weren’t. Sounds simple, right? So why are so many men afraid to be labeled as feminists? It’s beyond me. Guys, embrace it! 2. Fighting fair. It isn’t that healthy couples don’t fight; rather, it’s that they fight fair. Think of fighting as a “tool to understanding” (MindBodyGreen). What does that mean? That, “in a healthy relationship, a fight means there is real effort on both sides to see the other person's point of view, understand each other’s feelings, and work toward an equitable resolution. In an unhealthy relationship, a fight is a power play and an opportunity for payback.” So when you fight, you don’t want to tear each other down. You want to build up your mutual understanding of each other and of what’s really going on, to get to the root of the fight. And don’t worry if it seems like you fight a lot; according to Dr. Phil, “Fighting is a part of any relationship. You are not ever going to merge or share your life with someone and not have conflict. There is plenty of adjustment.” It’s totally normal, and as long as you fight fair, it’s totally okay. 3. Not drinking excessively. Well this one is a bummer, but Women’s Health reports that “controlling the boozing” could really help your relationship, saying, “research suggests that young adults who drink heavily (meaning four or more drinks on one occasion for women; five or more for guys) are less likely to wed in the first place and may be at greater risk for early separation if they do.” Why is that? Because you’re not thinking clearly and using your best judgement. Makes sense but is still kind of a downer. But that doesn’t mean you have to shut down the drinking entirely, because one trait of healthy couples is… 4. …having fun. A Berkley study reports that, “couples who play together stay together.” And this means branching out your fun activities — try something new! Why? Because, “Novel and arousing activities make you feel happier in general, and that happiness is likely to extend to your relationship as well.” And when both of you are trying something new, that effect is doubled. Simply put, it’s fun to have fun. (Duh, right?) So make a pact to try new fun things and see what happens. Chances are, you’ll have a good time, even if you’re bad at what you’re trying, because you’re trying it together. 5. Showing appreciation for the other person. Do you totally dig your partner and the things that they do for you? Let them know! Sounds totally simple, right? But sometimes when we’re having a crazy-busy day, it can be really easy to forget to give your partner that well-deserved thumbs up. Don’t let that happen. Here’s an example from Cosmopolitan: “Tell him what a great job he did planning your latest date so he doesn’t feel taken for granted. Chances are it will inspire him to give you the same well-deserved pats on the back.” Take a moment out of your day today to let your partner know how much you really appreciate them — and cite specific examples. 6. Compromise. Any relationship of any kind has a give-and-take element. Sometimes, you have to do something you don’t really want to do, but do anyway, because it makes your partner happy. Indlulgd reports this as one of the healthiest things that a couple can do, and it can be a really simple compromise, like watching your partner’s favorite TV show even though you’re not psyched about it. Having trouble compromising? Redbook has some ideas. One of them may be to adjust your expectations. Janet Hibbs, Ph.D., author of Try to See It My Way, says, “Keep in mind that you may not see eye-to-eye on what you consider fair, so be open to compromise.” It’s important to be open. And don’t be afraid to tell your partner exactly what it is you need, either — in a gentle, loving way. Once you’ve both expressed your needs, you can come closer to a compromise. Just remember to be an adult and not throw a tantrum, and you’ll be fine. 7. A happy sex life. Yup, you guess it — healthy couples have healthy sex lives. But don’t fret if you and your partner are at a place where sex isn’t as frequent as it used to be — as long as you’re both okay with it. “Happily, less sex does not automatically equate to less love, happiness and fulfillment,” says Robert Weiss, Senior Vice President of Clinical Development, Elements Behavioral Health, for the Huffington Post. “For most couples, especially those who’ve been together for a number of years, companionship, reliability and a sense of mutual trust are far more meaningful than a lot of hot, sweaty sex.” But what if you’re looking for more sex? First of all, don’t feel embarrassed or shy about it. You need to be frank, open, and honest about your sex life if you’re going to change it. As to how to change it? Weiss has some ideas. He recommends you schedule sex, as “horribly unromantic” as it may be. But just because you’re planning it, doesn’t mean your plans can’t be sexy and romantic, so focus on that part. Also, you may want to “mix it up” in your love life, by trying something new (there’s that adventurous spirit again!) or taking a little vacation. Just don’t put yourselves down. A dissatisfying sex life is something you can easily change, as long as you both — and here’s that magic word again — compromise! 8. Communication. Another duh, right? But good communication is a key trait of happy and healthy couples. The American Psychological Association reports on the benefits of “talking openly”, stating, “Healthy couples make time to check in with one another on a regular basis. It’s important to talk about more than just parenting and maintaining the household, however. Try to spend a few minutes each day discussing deeper or more personal subjects to stay connected to your partner over the long term.” They do note though, that this doesn’t mean more unpleasant subjects are forever off-limits: “Keeping concerns or problems to yourself can breed resentment. When discussing tough topics, though, it pays to be kind.” This means, of course, fighting fair. See? It’s the circle of life! 9. Common interests. Common interests don’t just mean a healthy couple, but a happy one. It’s okay if you don’t have a huge laundry list of things in common — it’s not a contest — but as long as you have of the few, important ones, that’s a good thing. Woman’s Day reports, “After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy.” So find something that you can both enjoying doing, and stick to it. Even if it’s just binge-watching a shared favorite TV show. As long as it’s a common interest you’re participating in together, it counts! 10. Giving each other space. Just because you’re a happy couple doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip. Doctor of Psychiatry Kristin Davin points out it’s the contrary. “[Healthy couples] create time together and time apart. Both are vital. And necessary. Too much time together can make a person feel that they are losing their identity, their individuality. Continue to be the person your partner or spouse fell in love with. They recognize their differences and embrace their similarities, not perfectly by they do.” So really, you need to make sure you don’t lose your own sense of self in this relationship, or it’s bad news for the both of you. Also, Davin points out that all that space could invoke a, “"missing you" feeling that enhances intimacy” when you are back together. And that’s good news! These are just some of the traits of happy couples. What can you think of? Do share! Image via WeHeartIt. 10 Traits of Healthy Couples is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Outdoor Date Ideas: Holiday Season Edition Posted: 11 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST
The only challenge you might have is choosing one activity. That's why I've created this handy guide to holiday season outdoor date ideas. Fall and Winter Outdoor Date IdeasPumpkin PatchThe pumpkin patch is the prototypical November outdoor activity. A few advantages make it a particularly nice option in certain situations. For example, if you don't have all day, many pumpkin patches are in suburbs that closely surround cities, if not directly in the city themselves. So take a break from your Breaking Bad marathon to get out of the house and get some fresh air. Who it's best for: The pumpkin patch is a perfect activity for children, so why not take a trip the next time you're babysitting your girlfriend's nephew? You and your partner can take a crisp fall stroll while the kids burn a little energy. This family-friendly environment might also be a good place to go with your boyfriend or girlfriend's family after dinner. SleddingWhile you might have to wait for the necessary weather conditions, sledding is a traditional date idea and has been around so long for a reason: it's a great activity to keep things interesting while also getting a little bit of exercise in this otherwise lethargic season. Who it's best for: Sledding is a good activity for a couple in any stage of a relationship, but is particularly fun for a new couple that's been together for a few months. There's a fun, no-pressure environment, but it sometimes requires teamwork, so it's a good way to get to know someone better. Football GameFootball games are one of America's favorite holiday date ideas. Personally, I'm happy anywhere you're allowed to eat and drink all afternoon while watching a bunch of guys run around in tights. A football game is a good time to get a group of friend together as well or go on a double date. But here's a pro tip: if you're going on a date to a football game, clear your calendar for the day because these things take awhile. Who it's best for: Football games are one of those date ideas that are great no matter what stage of the relationship you're in. If you just started dating, it's an exciting opportunity to cuddle up, but also not be too serious and have a little fun. If you're in a long term relationship, it's a nice way to spend several hours together doing something that you likely don't do every weekend. Football is also a perfect idea for a first date (maybe with dinner or hot chocolate afterwards). You have something to watch in the event that you guys don't particularly hit it off or want to stare into one another's eyes for hours. And if you do hit it off and want to have some conversation, it's still acceptable to do that during a football game, whereas the same can't be said for a movie or even a concert. So stop reading this right now and buy some tickets online for a game near you! Ice-SkatingAh, ice-skating. Is there a more stereotypical and timeless date idea than this during the holiday season? A blushing couple in love, holding hands and gliding across the ice, spinning around in circles in the middle of the rink and helping each other up when one of them falls? I think not. Who it's best for: Ice-skating is a good environment in which to have conversation without too much pressure, plus it's always a somewhat different activity as few people go ice-skating on a regular basis. So why not? YOLO. Get out there and have a little fun! Outlet Mall Shopping
Who it's best for: Outlet mall shopping is not an activity to be taken on by the couple who is casually dating. This is the case for at least two reasons: 1. Christmas shopping brings up a lot of emotions. It requires that you assess your relationships with family, friends, and SOs to determine what level of gift to get them (or whether to get them one at all). If that isn't a recipe for stirring up repressed emotions and causing fights between couples in public places, I don't know what is. 2. I mean, have you ever BEEN shopping on Black Friday? You risk your life going in there. At the very least the two of you are going to need a strategy for getting past the crazies and getting to that plasma screen TV. To be sure, this high-pressure date idea is not for the faint of heart. Only go outlet mall shopping if you guys are pretty much in it for the long haul. Fall FestivalWhatever outdoor festival is in your area, it's bound to be interesting, and there's a good chance it's a festival that you haven't been to before. If you live in a large city, there are probably several outdoor festivals in your area to choose from. Maybe this week there is a fall beer festival, while in a few weeks, there's a hayride festival in a neighboring suburb. If you don't have the time to do them all, pick one that seems interesting or that you haven't been to yet, then grab your partner to come along for the ride! Who it's best for: Fall festivals are a wonderful time for first dates or new couples who have been together for just a few weeks to a couple of months. All the stimulation offers countless conversation starters. Plus, it's a great way to learn more about a person whom you don't know very well. Which Fall Outdoor Date is Right for You?If after reading the above guide, you still aren't sure how to spend next Saturday afternoon with your love, I've put together this little quiz to help you figure out which activity is right for you. 1. When you're on a date with a new guy, which kind of arrangement makes you most comfortable? a. I want to do as little physical activity as possible to reduce my changes of tripping on something. b. I prefer to be active because it takes the attention away from any potential lackluster conversation. c. I'm most comfortable after a cocktail or two to ease the awkwardness of those early dates. 2. Which reality TV show can you see you and your SO doing? a. The Amazing Race b. Survivor c. House Hunters 3. What's your favorite holiday rom com? a. Love Actually b. White Christmas c. Ew, Rom Coms? Puke. Answers:
Now, add your points together. If you got: 3-5 points: You're a Classic Christmas! You like to get moving on your dates and keep things traditional. You might best enjoy spending an afternoon or evening going ice-skating and hitting Starbucks afterwards. Otherwise, take a trip to the pumpkin patch and bring your pet if you have one to make it extra fun! 6-7 points: You're a Festive Dater! You like to keep things interesting but prefer not to get too wild. Try taking the challenge of going to every holiday festival in your area over the next couple of months. Bring some friends or family with you too! You might also enjoy trekking up a big hill and spending an afternoon sledding with your love. 8-9 points: You're on Santa's 'Naughty' List! You definitely need to steer clear of the Pumpkin Patch unless you and your boy toy want to take shots of spiced rum first. An ideal date for you would be going to the football game where you can scream your ass off. Or, try going outlet mall shopping, which is a great place for you to take out your aggression on pushy holiday shoppers and create an awesome game plan for you and your date to execute (probably flawlessly). If you have the time, try each of these activities and see which ones suit you and your partner best. This holiday season, limit the number of holiday blockbusters you see at the movie theater, and instead get outside. Whether you're into sporty dates or prefer to stick with the classics, this is a magical season. Get out there and enjoy it! Outdoor Date Ideas: Holiday Season Edition is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
| Exciting News! UK Blog Awards Nominations & Dating Advice.com’s Best British Dating Blogs Posted: 10 Nov 2014 05:00 PM PST
Thank you as always for your support! We strive to provide the best and most comprehensive (and fun!) dating related content on the internet, so if there is something you’d like to see more of on the blog or a question you need answered, fire away! Hopefully we’ll be celebrating a win together soon! DatingAdvice.com’s 12 Best British Dating BlogsIn even more exciting news, we’ve been named one of the 12 Best British Dating Blogs of 2014 by DatingAdvice.com! Check out the post for the full list of blogs on their list–we’re in some great company! Exciting News! UK Blog Awards Nominations & Dating Advice.com’s Best British Dating Blogs is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog     |
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