Date Night Diva

Posted: 19 Dec 2014 10:22 PM PST

Are you currently dating someone you're having a hard time connecting with? Are you single and looking and not sure how to go about putting yourself out there?

Do you see other women chatting guys up with ease and confidence and wonder why you don't know how to talk to a guy?

It's actually really simple, take the next few tips into consideration and stop over-thinking it!

Warning: If you've ever struggled to talk to or create lasting attraction with men, then you NEED to watch this video right now.

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Guys love to talk about themselves. Everyone does. It's not that they're egotistical or narcissistic: it's just that we're all usually our own favorite subjects!

We know ourselves best and when we're nervous or uncomfortable it's easy to revert to talking about what we know. So let him! And while you're at it try to actually listen to what he says.

You might hear something interesting that you can use to move the conversation along and get to know him better.

Ask him questions

While you're busy listening to what he says you can ask him questions to elaborate on something interesting or when the conversation pauses. You'll also be subtly signaling interest.

He'll be getting cues from you that will make him want to keep up the conversation.

Let him lead the conversation

Most guys don't like pushy women. They usually like to feel like the ones who are taking charge. Let him take things where he wants with his answers and just casually follow along.

Let him be the one doing the chasing, like men instinctively want to do. This isn't about being submissive or falling into a gender-based stereotype, it's more about making him comfortable and finding your own pace and comfort zone in the conversation.

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Do something together

This is much easier if you're already on a date with a guy! But even if you're just chatting him up for the first time he'll be much more comfortable if there's something else going on besides the conversation.

A cup of coffee to enjoy together or books to look through at the book store or library. You get the idea.

There can be a lot of pressure if you're both just kind of standing there looking at each other. So do both of you a favor and do something to take the pressure off!

Be yourself

Don't try to impress him. Just be your own imperfect self! Be shy, goofy, awkward, whatever!

It'll help him be more comfortable if he knows you're ok being yourself around him, plus he'll be seeing the real you. If he doesn't like it, that's ok too. The sooner the better I say.

Better to get it over with now than to waste time trying to force a relationship that wasn't meant to be.

Watch your body language

What are you saying with your body? If you don't know then you're probably in trouble!

Make sure you're putting out the message that you're open and receptive to him, not defensive and closed off. Face him when you talk to him. Keep your arms un-crossed and be sure to look him in the eye and smile.

It's really easy to lose track of what we do with our bodies when we're stressed or under pressure. So make sure you're putting out the right signals!

Conclusion

Just remember, unless he's a player, in which case you don't want anything to do with him anyway, he's nervous too. Remember to ask questions, follow his lead and listen.

Learn to accept yourself and your insecurities and you'll be more likely to get the results you want when talking to men.

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