The 15 Types of Guys Every Gay Man Will Date In Their Lifetime

The 15 Types of Guys Every Gay Man Will Date In Their Lifetime
6 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You
10 Ways a Breakup Can Improve a Guy’s Life

Posted: 27 Jan 2015 05:00 PM PST

How many bad dates have you been on? It's enough to make you give up, become defiantly single, and invest all the money you've saved from not going out in a company that's developing a Zac Efron sex robot. Your prince is out there, and you can find him if you're willing to date a few frogs who you'll never hear from again after they've squirted their tadpoles onto your expensive bedsheets. In the gay dating world, there are a few types of guys that we've all dated, sometimes for longer than we should. So just who are these guys that you're going to have to endure in the hunt for the Zefron 5000 Pleasure Bot… I mean, the hunt for Mr Right?

These are the 15 types of guys every gay man will date in their lifetime.

1. The Misleading Guy

You're only likely to encounter these types of guys with online dating. Their messages are witty and intelligent, their photos look great and you get a good feeling, although meeting them face to face can be a different story altogether. It seems that these guys haven't had their photo taken since 1998, which is why they're using it as their most recent photo. Where is that thick flowing hair and those delightfully bulging arms? Who is this Gollum dressed in Ed Hardy that I see before me? It's kind of sad that they feel the need to be misleading, and perhaps they're hoping that their winning personality will compensate for the fact they look nothing like their photo. If only you could still smoke freely in bars, then you could at least view them through a filter of swirling smoke.

2. The Discreet Guy

He's fun, he's cool, and you enjoy spending time with him. There's no real time frame for how a relationship should develop, and yet there's no mention of ever meeting his friends and he might be a bit evasive about some aspects of his life. There's a strong possibility that he's in the closet, and dating you is a big step for him. Having said that, he might only be interested in the physical side of things, since he doesn't quite feel comfortable being an out gay man. There's also the chance that he'll push you into bushes if you happen to be out with him and he sees someone he knows.

3. The Quick Moving Guy

While there's no time frame for how a relationship should develop, this also includes the fact that there's no right time to choose when to first go to bed with a guy. If he invites you back to his place before you've finished your first drink, then it would appear that he likes to move quickly. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, since sexual compatibility is an important aspect of dating. He maybe simply wants to see if you work just as well in bed as you could out of it. Or maybe he was just overcome with lust when he saw you sitting there at the bar… yeah, that's probably it. Happens to me all the time.

4. The Delusional Guy

You can easily identify the delusional guy when you see his dating profile, and it's highly unlikely that you'll want to date him. When an older guy with a belly so large he needs to lift it to urinate, imperiously states that he will only date, "Slim and smooth guys, maximum of 25 years old," you wonder who would actually respond. Please don't respond to messages from guys like this. You're better than that.

5. The Wannabe Porn Star

The wannabe porn star only becomes obvious when things move to the bedroom. Sure, a bit of dirty talk can be arousing, but sometimes it seems like a guy is reciting lines from porn he's seen. It can feel totally artificial and makes the whole situation humorous, rather than hot.

6. The Not-That-Into-You Guy

It's easy to get stuck in a dating cycle with guys like these. You spend time together, you enjoy each other's company, and the bedroom antics are sufficiently stimulating. But something is lacking and you maybe can't put your finger on it. Sometimes, no matter how nice a guy is, and how much you think a relationship with him should work, you're just not that into each other. Fortunately gay men can't have children (no matter how hard you try), so it's not as though you'll become stuck in a relationship like this "for the sake of the children."

7. The Open Relationship Guy

You meet at a party. He flirts, you flirt, you exchange numbers and arrange to meet again. Everything is going swimmingly until he mentions his boyfriend. It's not necessarily the end of the road, but is in fact the potential beginning of another road. You could date this guy easily enough, but it will never be like a regular relationship, and some of us cherish that regularity. He will always go home to his boyfriend, and he might even be dating guys other than you.

8. The Party Guy

If you've been on a few dates with a guy that start with a quiet drink and ends 13 hours later with you both walking unsteadily out of a club, blinking in the morning sun, then you might just be with a party guy. Partying is great, but how tiring would it be to be dating this guy, knowing every Saturday night will involve a sweaty saunter around the dancefloor while they scream, "I love this DJ" above the thumping beat. Heaven forbid you should want to spend a Saturday binge watching TV once in a while.

9. The Weird Guy

For the first few dates, he's endearingly weird. You like the way he seems to laugh at nothing in particular, and are genuinely interested in his view that all the radio waves from smartphones interfere with the way peoples brains work. Before too long he becomes just plain weird, and even slightly unsettling, and you find yourself wondering if his smartphone interfered brain will tell him to smother you in your sleep.

10. The Creative Guy

It can be wonderfully alluring to meet a guy who has some creative pursuits. Creativity is rather subjective, however, and his creative pursuits might actually make you want to pursue a bottle of vodka to numb the pain. If he brings out his guitar and plays you an original song that sounds like Taylor Swift and One Direction had a baby that projectile vomited earnestness, you'll know that there could be a problem or two when it finishes, and he asks you what you thought of it.

11. The "My Body Is a Temple" Guy

It's certainly important to look beyond the physical when it comes to dating. Having said that, it can be amazing to go out with a guy who has pecs and abs that make your boy parts quiver. Unless you're on the same page with health and fitness, this type of relationship can have a short life. Him: "Do you know how many calories are in that burger?" You: "Yes. I also don't care. Stop talking and take your shirt off."

12. The One Night Only Guy

The conversation flowed like fine wine, which also flowed freely… Well, maybe it wasn't so fine. It might have even come out of a box, but that's not the point. The date went so well, and despite the fact you'd only known him for an hour, you actually find yourself imagining a future with him. In a fit of passion, you even went back to his place and consummated your future marriage. And then you never hear from him again. Because he's a dick who thinks you're too needy if you dare to suggest meeting again.

13. The Political Guy

Gay rights are human rights, that much is obvious. If it wasn't for trailblazers of the past, gay men would still be leading a fearful half-life (and in some parts of the world, this is sadly still the case). Complacency is your right, and it's arguable that you're doing your bit for gay rights by dating men and not making a big deal about it. Occasionally you'll meet a guy who is incredulous when you tell him that you've never marched in a pride parade. You'll also give him a blank look when he starts talking about queer theory. He might give you a withering look when you tell him you can name every man Carrie has dated on Sex and the City.

14. The Gay Life Guy

It's great to be gay. Or straight. Or bi. Or any variation therein. But sometimes you might find yourself dating a guy whose self-identity is pegged to his sexuality, and that can be a tad boring. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with watching a gay movie with your gay friends, before having a drink at a gay bar and then hitting a gay club, but surely there's more to life?

15. The Seemingly Perfect Guy

Sometimes the seemingly perfect guy is in fact the perfect guy, and any doubts or cynicism on your part might be the result of a number of ghastly dates with the other guys on the list. Don't look for flaws, and instead accept the fact that things could work with this guy. Having said that, it's entirely possible that he will grow close enough to you to confide that he can only become fully aroused if you spank him with a marinated rack of lamb. But hey, relationships are all about compromise…

The 15 Types of Guys Every Gay Man Will Date In Their Lifetime is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog

6 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

Posted: 26 Jan 2015 05:00 PM PST

Dating at any age is a minefield. Age and experience brings a lot of things, insight into the thinking of your date is sadly not one of them and whilst one gains wisdom from repeating events in life, it doesn't matter how many dates you've been on, online messages you've received, short-lived romances and long term relationships you've had, when it comes to figuring out whether your date is into you or not, sometimes, it's a pretty tough call.

It is especially difficult when you feel chemistry on a first date, or at least, think you do – when, on paper it goes well, the conversation flows and you 'click' and then the dreaded silence ensues.

Asking your friend to text you to make sure your phone isn’t broken, switching it on and off again incase there's a fault in the connection, stalking their Facebook page to check they are still alive. Yep, that.

The good news is it happens to the best of us, the bad news is, that chemistry you felt on that date? … It was one-sided and sadly it looks like he just ain't that into you.

With this in mind, the best course of action is to swiftly move onto the next one. There are enough people online dating these days, and there are certainly more fish in the seas and boys in the net, as it where.
But should you still find yourself trying to find reason and excuses as to why he hasn't called, there are certain things your date may have done during or after the date which should put all doubt about his intentions to one side and allow you to move on as swiftly as possible.

6 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

1. Conversation during the date. Not all conversation during the date obviously, but various inappropriate topics that set the tone for the evening.
Talking about his ex girlfriend, how he doesn't know what he's looking for, that he is planning to go travelling for 6 months in a fortnight or worse, still, not talking at all.
To simplify, any subject that demonstrates a bigger interest in things other than the fact that he has just met someone as fabulous as you.
I don't doubt he's still friends with his ex, and fully admire his intention to quit his job in finance and backpack around Vietnam, however, by mentioning them he is indirectly telling you that a relationship (with you) is not something he envisages in his future and nor is you opinion of him – or his relationship with is ex-girlfriend of any importance to him.
The man that says nothing, is either bored or boring, neither of which bode well for your dream of a happy ever after.

2.”I've got an early start.” Haven't we all! As a hardened dater myself, I have a fairly stringent set of rules when it comes to manners on a first date. One should always give a person a chance, if somebody has committed an evening to meeting you then the very least you can do is commit to giving them a bit of time to 'sell themselves' and unless you date is a serial dater … one who spends 6 hours a day online and signs up for 3 a night 5 nights a week, in which case you want to run for the hills anyway, I would presume that that person has nothing else to do that evening than be in your company – and should relax into the evening accordingly.
He does not need to be back by 9.30 to let his flat mate in, he does not have to be in the office by 5.30am and he does not have a hangover from the weekend and needs an early night.
In other words, there are no excuses for leaving early and if you find yourself on the receiving end of one of them, sorry to be the bringer of bad news but, he wants out.
If he's just met the woman of his dreams and can’t get enough of your company – trust me, his flatmate can wait.

3. Not arranging a follow up date. A little more ambiguous than telling you he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend admittedly, but still cause for concern when it comes to first dates. When a man wraps up a date, without mentioning a potential follow up date or a possible time you might meet again – start to worry. I recognise that people don't want to come across too keen, but to not say 'it would be great to see you again' after a first date would start my alarm bells ringing. As would …

4.His interest in your safe return home. Whilst I don't expect carriages at midnight and my date to lay his velvet cloak down to protect my dainty feet from wet cobbles I do appreciative a little bit of chivalry on a first date and a gesture like walking me to the nearest tube station or waiting on the street until I’ve hail a cab – as should you. This not only shows good intent but also that he wants to string out the date until the last possible moment which is always a good sign.

5. Not texting you that night. This is a bit of a controversial one and not receiving a 'thanks for a great night' on the bus home does not set in stone his lack of interest, however, it is nice and confirms that your date is interested. Standing alone this isn't such an issue and a text or phone call the day after date night is just as valid – 48 hours in and, oh dear, not looking good.

6. No contact for a week. Don’t kid yourself with the 'Oh, he's just playing the 3 day game – which actually means he likes me' sorry to break it to you but the game doesn't officially start until at least three dates in. After a first date, if you haven't had a text or a phone call, he's not playing the game he's just not that into you.
Men are hunters by nature and if he hasn't got enough enthusiasm in him to chase you a bit at the start there isn't much hope for the future. Aside from anything, even if he was playing a game, not have the manners to contact you and acknowledge the date for 48 hours + is just plain rude and says a lot about him as a person, not least of all when you are at an age when honesty is an important quality people seek in a partner and games are a minor necessary evil to stoke the fires of interest and passion a bit further down the line but absolutely not something that plays a predominant part of the relationship one date in.

3/4 days is just about acceptable with a very good excuse. Contact anything over a week after the first date and (yes I'm going to massively generalise here) your answer should be no … and, no, him loosing his phone is not an excuse.

So there you have it, six simple ways to know when the chemistry is unrequited, and whilst there are no hard and fast rules to dating and there are, of course, always exceptions to those rule, when your date talks about his ex, leaves early, doesn't wait for you to get a taxi or call you for 2 weeks … renew your subscription honey, that fish ain't biting.

6 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog

10 Ways a Breakup Can Improve a Guy’s Life

Posted: 25 Jan 2015 05:00 PM PST

Boys don't cry.
Boys are tough.
Boys don't show weakness.
Boys don't cry…
…except they do.

I remember repeating this little mantra to myself back in 2011 shortly after I broke up with a long term girlfriend. There are literally thousands, if not millions of articles aimed specifically at women that detail how to get through a bad break up and how they help you. A quick search on Google reveal multiple blogs and articles from Cosmo, the Huffington Post and many more about how you can live without the 'boy in your life'. When it comes to men though, the story is very different. There is not much material available unless you count the many lads-mags who prescribe as much casual sex as possible. The media focus is on women. Hardly anyone talks about the emotional impact a bad break up can have on a man or how it can influence their life.

Meet Bob
I like Bob. He's a friendly guy and always willing to have a chat. Bob's 31 and works in the entertainment industry and has done for six years. He's respected in his job and by his friends and family. He has a girlfriend he's been going out with for nearly four years. From the outside Bob's life looks comfortable and rosy. In fact he's just come back from a new year's break with his girlfriend. Yet on the bus back from the airport (Bob likes to save money and doesn't yet drive) Bob knows in his heart that this is the last time he will go on holiday with the girl sleeping gently in the seat beside him. He just hasn't admitted it to himself yet.

Bob is not happy. Despite his internal self assurances to the contrary, (everyone feels this way in a relationship at some point, you're just going through a stressful time at work, it's bound to have an impact on your personal life, every couple has to navigate problems..etc etc) Bob is pretty damn miserable. But Bob sucks it up like the stoic bloke he is. He assures himself that it is normal and that he is lucky to have such a sexy hot woman going out with him, even if she won't wear a thong. She's pretty and has nice boobs – Bob likes boobs. Okay so she can be a little aggressive sometimes and used to getting her own way. Okay she can be a little dismissive and cruel when Bob tells her about his career dreams and what he wants to achieve. And okay so she can be very good at making Bob feel guilty when he books her a surprise trip home to see her family and friends, when she thought she would be spending a weekend away with Bob. She doesn't get to see her family and friends back home very often and comments about it regularly to Bob. It's all fine. These are just little niggles that Bob must ignore.

One day a month later, Bob is chatting to some old friends and the topic of him and his girlfriend going travelling together comes up – Bob's girlfriend mentioned previously that she and Bob were planning on travelling later that year. An innocent question of whether or not Bob is looking forward to the trip is asked and for the first time Bob answers honestly 'No'.

Things move pretty swiftly after that and Bob breaks up with his girlfriend two days later.
For the first week Bob feels relieved that it's over. He has a sense of freedom he didn't have before. He can do anything! He can go anywhere! He doesn't have to check what his girlfriend is doing before he plans something because – wahey! – he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore! Life doesn't get much better than this!

For the second week Bob feels awful. He has a sense of guilt he didn't have before. He can't do anything without thinking about his girlfriend…I mean ex-girlfriend. He can't go anywhere without feeling a deep pit at the bottom of his stomach. He wants to check what his girlfriend…ex-girlfriend is doing before he plans something because – boohoo! – he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore! Life doesn't get much crappier then this!

What Can We Learn From Bob?
When a man breaks up with someone the lifestyle media would have you believe that he just shrugs his shoulders and goes on to sleep with the nearest woman. The truth is much uglier. Yes, sometimes casual sex is seen as the best antidote to a bad break up. However a man can literally fall to pieces, shunning his friends and family and making ill advised phone calls to his ex because he thinks it might all have been a mistake. What the man does next is very important as it can shape his future…for better or worse.

10 Ways Getting Your Heart Broken Can Improve Your Life

Things are always uncertain after you've had your heart ripped out (even voluntarily) and slammed through a mincing machine. After the initial shock you start to ask yourself many questions. What if I never meet someone again? What if I made a mistake? What if I never have sex again?! There is believe it or not, a way through the quagmire of uncertainty. I know this because I've been through it as I'm sure, have many of you.

1. You're unrestricted
That's probably harshly put, but being single after you've become so used to being with someone is a great way to get to know yourself better. You begin to study who you are and what you want without any distraction. In short; you can start to figure out what it is you want now and where you want to go in the future.

2. You learn
I learnt that voluntarily doing myself out of regular sex and voluntarily squeezing my heart until it bled was not the end of the world. Life is full of challenges and I had to face my own. I learnt that it was okay to feel bad about the break up. I also learnt that over time I would feel better. Finally I learnt that jumping straight back onto the dating scene didn't work for me. Everyone is different but everyone learns from a bad break up.

3. You Reconnect
The bits of your life that you didn't make time for suddenly become available again. Friends you lost touch with you see more of. You rediscover things that you used to enjoy. Whole sections of your existence that became secondary when you were dating are reconnected once you're single again.

4. You Get Perspective
Sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees when you're in an unhappy relationship. A bad break up might feel awful at the time, but once you start to reconnect with other areas of your life you gain perspective. You realise why the break up was probably a good thing.

5. You let negative inhibitions go
Any hang ups you had before you split up start to disappear, personally and professionally. The perspective you gain from the break up helps to influence your life in a positive way. All of a sudden you might realise that you hate your job and want to do something else. You might decide to go travelling to that country you always wanted to visit but never had the courage to do so by yourself before. And when it comes to sex, well let's just say you can become a lot more adventurous in the bedroom.

6. You become more confident
Courage you never knew you had suddenly asserts itself. A bad break up knocks you for six when it happens, but it also strengthens your core. Things that seemed impossible to achieve before, suddenly seem piddling in comparison. This confidence seeps into your life and ends up making you more attractive to other people both personally and professionally.

7. You become less socially awkward
A bad break up pummels you to the ground when it happens. You feel like you can't get up. Then a few months pass and you start reconnecting with your life. When this happens you find yourself eager to engage in conversations perhaps with people you never thought you'd talk to before. Before you know it, that crippling shyness you once had starts to disappear and you become the social centre of attention.

8. You meet new people
When you're in relationship it's natural to want to spend time with your girlfriend/boyfriend. When you're single again you crave the need for more social connections. No one likes being alone all the time. You go out. You go to parties. You do things like jumping off a cliff in Wales whilst on an adventure holiday. And all the while you're meeting more and more people.

9. You get new friends
Friends are awesome. True friends stick by you even when you're acting like a dick. They big you up when you're feeling low and they give you a good kicking when you're being an idiot. They're always there. When you start meeting new people you start making friends. Before you know it you've gained new friends and only lost one girlfriend. Not the worst of trades.

10. You start dating again
You come full circle. That bad break up is now nothing but a distant bad memory. Yet it's helped you to grow, to learn and to become a better person. You start dating again. Then one day when you're not really paying that much attention, you meet someone who isn't bat shit crazy and whom you really like.

Here endeth Bob's lesson.

10 Ways a Breakup Can Improve a Guy’s Life is a post from the: WeLoveDates blog